It was perfect timing. I’ve been with my husband for over 10yrs (although we’ve been married for only a few). Financially, we were stable enough to care for another human being. Emotionally ready- everything ready.
So here I am, ready for a baby. I hear that the baby needs to be fed every 2 hrs or so around the clock for about 3 mths. I hear that the 1st 3 post-natal mths are kinda like the 10th mth of pregnancy b/c the baby is adopting to its new environment. I get that. I was ready.
And then I was greeted by Zoey. The little person that I have created, wanted, and ready for. And boy, I was wrong. Did that little bundle of cuteness proved me wrong!
I wasn’t ready to understand why she cried endlessly and can’t be soothed. I wasn’t ready for why her skin was super sensitive to all kinds of different baby washes. I wasn’t ready for the challenges of breastfeeding or going on the next day like a zombie who hasn’t slept in 58493 hrs. The list goes on, and on, and on.
I soon realized that readiness didn’t matter. Because really, how can you be ready to be a mother when you haven’t ever been one? What kept me going was the desire to be a mother.
Mommyhood has been the most challenging thing that’s ever happened to me. And yet, it brings so much rewards. There is such joy in witnessing your baby’s first smile, first tooth, first bath, and yes, first poop (I’ve not gone crazy)!
For the first time ever, this tiny, precious human being relies on me entirely to give her the best in life, to teach her everything she’ll know, to listen to her ga ga stories, and to comfort her when no one else can (super clingy!). Hmm, sanity might end soon!
Until you are a mother, you don’t know how a hand can be so tiny, how a cheek can be so soft.
How..to say it bluntly…’retarded’ you look talking to a baby like there really is a real conversation going on. You just don’t know, until you are a mother.
Til the next post, Kellie.